Posted on Thu 26 October 2023 in Reflection

I still need to finish yesterdays update, but I want to just write a few things on my mind today. First, I've restructured my directory layout a bit and have no idea if it will break everything or not.

I am not a healthy person. A lot of days I wonder how I am alive with the caffeine/energy drink addiction I've had since high school and the amount of sugary garbage I put into my body. I think it's unfair I'm in the health I am because others do everything right and they end up on the receiving end of terminal cancer or other rare conditions. I don't think I've expressed enough gratitude towards just how fortunate I have been.

I've been doing Peloton workouts since Sept 13, 2023 and I thought maybe that would be enough to fix my health. It's a start, but my weight loss has been pretty slow. I'm not trying to get super fit as that's not the kind of person I am, but I just want to be more comfortable and be less uncomfortable when I'm hiking trails on top of mountains looking for critters. I knew diet was important in losing weight, but I didn't realize how important it is.

So, I guess I'm going to start trying to eat better again. I shed pounds FAST when I did keto before, but I also relapsed hard and felt like I didn't want to live anymore after about a month in. I'm going to start meal prepping and mixing in some intermittent fasting along with trying to cut the sugar. It's going to be hard. I hate cooking, I hate entering things into MyFitnessPal, I hate grocery shopping, I hate doing dishes. I want to be better though. In about an hour I am going to go pick up an Apple Watch to try to give me more metrics about my health. I am a data nerd. being a data nerd is why Peloton works so well for me - I can track stats, see other's stats, and even compete. If this is the kind of thing I need to do to try to live til 50 and beyond, I'm the only one that can do it.

I think I will check in every now and then to see where I am at health-wise and measure my progress. I have apps that do that for me, but they don't write about it, share it, and hold me accountable. Here's some stats:

248.2: Today's weight
256: September 13 weight (the day I started Peloton)
309: The most I have ever weighed, in 2017.

peloton statistics for the last month

How was I ever at 309 and how did I overcome that? A few things happened - the most important was discovering my love of photography. Before that all I had were my dogs, my girlfriend, and gaming. A couple of those things are very important to me, but none of them were my identity. They weren't who I am. They weren't what fuel nearly every choice I make now. I didn't go outside. I didn't hike looking for owls.. I didn't do a freakin' thing. I went to happy hours with coworkers and ate greasy lunches with them all the time. Oh, and I stopped at the gas station for a breakfast sandwich and doughnut to go along with my Monster EVERY SINGLE DAY on my way to work. I still have the taste for bad food, but I don't drink unless it's one or two socially on occasion now and I work from home. I very rarely eat lunch. I do have breakfast sometimes, but even that is a routine I am cutting back on. I still drink Monster, and I know it's bad for me but eff you, don't judge me. You probably like coffee and I think that stuff's nasty.

Anyway, I'm going to try to not die so I can see a few more tornadoes.